The 'Problem' of Jewish Education and Acculturation
Rabbi Don Levy
We often think that we have failed our children, that we have deprived them of a meaningful Jewish education if they drop out of any meaningful participation in Jewish religious life in their teens or early 20's, if they feel no connection to Jewish life, or Israel. While it's true that a person's feeling incompetent or illiterate Jewishly can sometimes push them away from Jewish life, I don't think the problem is that simple. Most congregations offer all manner of classes geared to those beyond Sunday school age. Outside of congregations, classes are offered in various kinds of outreach settings, online, on college campusses in Hillel Houses as well as within the school's regular academic curricula. In congregational life, and in the military as an Air Force chaplain I have taught weekly classes and more, and I've never had to turn anybody away for lack of empty chairs in the room! When I taught part-time at Colorado College, Jewish kids wanting to learn more about the religion in which they'd been raised registered heavily for my course in Basic Judaism. Any teen or young adult who wants to raise their Jewish literacy will find many varied outlets for doing so. I don't think the issue is that we teach to an inadequate level in the religious schools that our children attend for several years as a prerequisite for celebrating their bar or bat mitzvah in our congregations. Rather, it is the lack of context in our families for continuing Jewish involvement and learning from the age of 13 and beyond.
In my congregation, in addition to requiring that children attend religious school for a number of years leading up to the bar/bat mitzvah year, the kids meet with me one-on-one for an hour per week for about six months leading up to their Big Event. They are required to attend services regularly during this period. We seldom see the kids and their families at services after their bar/bat mitzvah - in two-and-a-half years at my congregation, I cannot name a single child who continued attending with his or her family aftrer the celebration. I've also failed to get much response to an offer of a post-bar/bat mitzvah class in religious school for three years now. The families just drop out of active participation until the next child's approaching bar/bat mitzvah requires them to begin attending again. And then, the last child to celebrate his or her 'coming of age' in the temple, now a teenager, never attends with the parents and younger sibling.
I suppose one can blame the temple and its rabbi and other professionals (where there are any) for not making the services relevant and meaningful. Frankly, though I don't buy that; I don't know any rabbi, cantor, or soloist (myself included) who does not constantly fret over what s/he can do to improve the services. The truth is, many of our families see attending services as a kind of entertainment, to be considered against all other kinds of entertainments available to them on Friday nights. By this measure, Shabbat services will never, no matter what we do to make them pleasant and meaningful, be able to compete with movies, live theater, concerts, or just dinner out as a family after a long week. Let's be honest about it. Until our families are willing to adopt a mindset of obligation, for most of them attendance at services will be entirely on a 'when there's nothing else going on and when I feel like it' basis.
In that context, and given my argument above that there are far more opportunities for Jewish intellectual growth than most Jews take advantage of, the 'problem' is not really the inadequacy of Jewish education; the problem is weak Jewish acculturation. When parents see temple attendance and involvement as a 'hoop' they have to jump through to get their kids' bar or bat mitzvahs, they are sending a loud and clear message to their kids that will stay with them for a lifetime. If families attended regularly, year after year, they would be sending the opposite message: constant involvement in Jewish religious life is an important component to one's life, no matter what age. It is a powerful message; in families where that is the way of life, the children have far more tendency to take Judaism seriously and continue involvement even when they are making their own decisions.
But that's not to say that more education isn't better than less. This principle is as applicable to Jewish education, as it is to secular education.
It's for this reason that some Jewish families sacrifice mightily to send their children to Jewish day schools. It's altogether true that such schools do not exist in every city where Jews live. There is no day school in Colorado Springs where I live, although there are excellent Jewish day schools in nearby Denver.
I would send my own children to Jewish day school in Denver, except that I've opted instead to send them to the American Hebrew Academy ('AHA'), a Jewish prep/boarding school, in Greensboro, North Carolina. If Jewish day schools are the Cadillac of Jewish education (and they are), AHA is the Rolls Royce! I've posted an essay and pictorial on AHA elsewhere on this site. Now I realize that boarding school is not something many Jewish parents would consider, so my point here is not to complain that more Jewish parents don't select such an option for their children - although for sure we would have stronger Jewish communities if more did! Rather, my point is to show that, no matter where you live, there are options for giving your children the gift of increased Jewish knowledge and literacy.
There are other experiences that are also important and very formative. Jewish camping and Israel trips come immediately to mind. But the best thing parents can give their children to keep them engaged in Jewish life, is to be engaged themselves. To fence off at least part of each Shabbat for celebration and rest. To observe all the festivals, even when it 's inconvenient to do so (as it almost always is). To make time to attend some Jewish continuing education class or seminar annually. To incorporate visits to Jewish sites into family vacations. To celebrate Shabbat, however possible, even when travelling.
Acculteration is the culprit impairing our children's continued involvement in Jewish life: weak acculturation in Judaism, and strong acculturation in the greater society. While you'll never hear me argue that we should 'ghetto'ize' ourselves or our youngsters, we can give them a much stronger Jewish identity than most of us do, without a corresponding price of denying them anything more important. Think about it.